The mark of ashes on my forehead on Ash Wednesday reminded me of my mortality and need for repentance and forgiveness. Concurrently, I recalled the recent funeral of Auntie Tessie, witnessing her coffin wheeled to the furnace in the crematorium and participating in the Rite of Committal to rest the interment of her ashes in the columbarium.
Auntie Tessie passed away on 31 Jan 2023, less than a month before Ash Wednesday. Knowing that I am the only Christian at home, Auntie Tessie invited me to join her family for Christmas lunch every year. Over the last two years after the easing of Covid-19 measures, our long lunches stretched to almost dinner time catching up with the time lost during Covid-19. Over the years, I enjoyed listening to stories of her youth and education in India (fortunately, her education was not disrupted by WWII), her discernment for vocation, her married life, and her faith. Her daily habit of reading the Bible and biblical literature even weeks before her death was inspiring. While her body had become ashes in the columbarium, her exemplary loving life remains as a model to pursue a life of faith.
The ashes for Ash Wednesday are residuals from the burning palm fronds used in the previous year’s Palm Sunday celebration by the faithful to wave in memorial of welcoming Jesus’s entry to Jerusalem just days before he was crucified. These ashes were once fresh fronds branching their life out of a stem, finding their individualism, and identity, growing towards the light, and displaying the glory of the Lord.
Like the fresh palm frond constantly drawing water and nutrients from the branch, Auntie Tessie lived a faithful fruitful life drawing strength and wisdom from scriptures and prayers. Unlike the palm, which lost its vitality and luster once cut off from the stem and which would eventually be burned into ashes, I believe in her faithful devotion. Auntie Tessie has transcended from ashes to continue to be nourished and live eternally under the perpetual light.
“Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.” (John 15:4)
Between the short span of Epiphany (which marks the end of the Christmas season) and Ash Wednesday, I underwent two unexpected incidences – surgery and the death of Auntie Tessie. These two unexpected events left me with the guilt of being undisciplined in my medical check-up and not spending more time with Auntie Tessie. Instead of dwelling in guilt, I allow my regret as a compass to review my priority in life and learn the importance of seizing the day. Carpe Diem.
Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. (Ps 90:12)
Lent presents a time for me to take stock of the values I placed in my life. Hopefully, there have not been too much on lesser things. It is time to release desire for temporal earthly attractions and possessions to focus on eternal standing.
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Mt 6:21)
In my repentance for the misplacement of my gifts and resources, I sanctify my interior space for rooms in seeking God’s will for a more faithful and purposeful life.
“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Mt 18:18)
Ash Wednesday reminds me of becoming ashes one day, and every day is closer to that day. Nothing is certain in life except for our return to God. In regular prayer, repentance, and purification, I hope to join Auntie Tessie and the faithful at home with God one day.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust (Gen 2:7, Gen 3:19)